I grew up in a non-denominational church and was familiar with movements of God since a child. In 1998, I dedicated my life to God and His will for me. I had developed an intimate relationship with my Creator, my best friend, my Jesus. I have always known I was called to work with youth. I never expected to be in full time ministry for myself - but knew I was called to work with them. Soon before graduation, I applied to World Harvest Bible College and was accepted. I backslid before making it to Ohio.
My personal struggle at that time was with fornication. I needed to feel accepted and loved from a man. I did not know how to recognize or feel God's love for me. I became involved with a man and remember God telling me "Get out of that relationship now, it will take you down a road you do not need to be on". I disobeyed and continued to see the guy. I ended up getting pregnant, married, and divorced. Needless to say - this was the reason I did not come to WHBC.
As I tried to make sense of life - I started studying psychology. I felt a constant tug on my heart from God but never submitted. I felt as if I had been brainwashed by the church. Psychology taught me to question everything. I fell out of the word and started flooding myself with psychological theories. I had backslid to the point where I did not even know if I truly believed in God.
In July of 2011 I visited what would become my church. God moved on my heart and I was delivered in that service. I sat in the seat and cried, repented, and got physically sick. I started sweating, became sick to my stomach, and literally shaking. It took all the strength within me not to run out of the church screaming. Then, I felt the chains break - I felt the weight lifted. I felt what I had missed for so long, God's presence and love. The pastor was preaching from the scripture about the word of God being sharper than any two edged sword - so sharp to separate the soul from the spirit. At that moment, everything became clear to me. I had fallen away from God's word - filled myself (my soul) with psychology - and allowed a spirit of confusion to set in. I prayed for forgiveness and vowed to never look back and asked Jesus to help me surrender to Him. I'll be the first to say I am not perfect, but I am forgiven and will forever be a work in progress.
Once back in church, I started volunteering where my heart always was - with the youth. My peace came back and confirmation that it was exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I love youth and their passion to seek after His face. I have a motto of Stay in Love. This comes from an adolescent perspective. When someone is in love with something or someone - there is nothing that can be done to sway them or distract them. I feel called to help youth Stay in Love with the Father, their first true love.
This was a very brief version of my testimony. I am open to disclosing more if you have questions. Like I stated above, I am a work in progress... every day - the fact that I wake up - is a testimony!
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