My testimony in a nutshell (brief version)

I grew up in a non-denominational church and was familiar with movements of God since a child. In 1998, I dedicated my life to God and His will for me. I had developed an intimate relationship with my Creator, my best friend, my Jesus. I have always known I was called to work with youth. I never expected to be in full time ministry for myself - but knew I was called to work with them. Soon before graduation, I applied to World Harvest Bible College and was accepted. I backslid before making it to Ohio.

My personal struggle at that time was with fornication. I needed to feel accepted and loved from a man. I did not know how to recognize or feel God's love for me. I became involved with a man and remember God telling me "Get out of that relationship now, it will take you down a road you do not need to be on". I disobeyed and continued to see the guy. I ended up getting pregnant, married, and divorced. Needless to say - this was the reason I did not come to WHBC.

As I tried to make sense of life - I started studying psychology. I felt a constant tug on my heart from God but never submitted. I felt as if I had been brainwashed by the church. Psychology taught me to question everything. I fell out of the word and started flooding myself with psychological theories. I had backslid to the point where I did not even know if I truly believed in God.

In July of 2011 I visited what would become my church. God moved on my heart and I was delivered in that service. I sat in the seat and cried, repented, and got physically sick. I started sweating, became sick to my stomach, and literally shaking. It took all the strength within me not to run out of the church screaming. Then, I felt the chains break - I felt the weight lifted. I felt what I had missed for so long, God's presence and love. The pastor was preaching from the scripture about the word of God being sharper than any two edged sword - so sharp to separate the soul from the spirit. At that moment, everything became clear to me. I had fallen away from God's word - filled myself (my soul) with psychology - and allowed a spirit of confusion to set in. I prayed for forgiveness and vowed to never look back and asked Jesus to help me surrender to Him. I'll be the first to say I am not perfect, but I am forgiven and will forever be a work in progress.

Once back in church, I started volunteering where my heart always was - with the youth. My peace came back and confirmation that it was exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I love youth and their passion to seek after His face. I have a motto of Stay in Love. This comes from an adolescent perspective. When someone is in love with something or someone - there is nothing that can be done to sway them or distract them. I feel called to help youth Stay in Love with the Father, their first true love.

This was a very brief version of my testimony. I am open to disclosing more if you have questions. Like I stated above, I am a work in progress... every day - the fact that I wake up - is a testimony!

Oneness with God

Recently in a church service my pastor asked a question that is worth some pondering…

If you knew you only had a certain amount of time to live, what would you talk about?

He went on to say that some of the most important scripture to read is that of John 14 – 17 because it was Jesus’ last days on earth – and His words are worth taking note of.

I jumped at the chance to read these chapters. Of course, I’m sure I read them before – but this time – I wanted to read them with this in mind. I started with John 14…

In John 14, Jesus speaks about “oneness” with the Father. He is explaining to the disciples that He is about to go to be with God and comforts them by telling them if they love Him, they will keep His commandments – in return for the expression of their love (by faith, action, and lifestyle) that He will “disclose Himself” to them (vs. 21).

HOW AWESOME IS THAT???? We have a God that will have an open line of communication with us! All we have to do is love Him and obey Him!

I found vs. 29 interesting:

        “Now I have told you before it happens; so that when it happens you believe”

God will disclose Himself and His plan for our lives by telling us things before they happen! This will strengthen our faith.

In vs. 31 Jesus said:

        “but so that the world may know I love the Father, I do exactly as the Father commanded me…”

WOW – CHECK YO’ SELF!!! DOES THE WORLD KNOW WHO YOUR FATHER IS? DO THEY KNOW THAT YOU LOVE THE FATHER? (if you do as He commands, your lifestyle should show the world where your heart is set)

Life is so much easier when you love God. If you love Him, you are keeping his commandments (vs. 15) and according to God’s promise in vs. 21 – He is disclosing Himself to you! You will know what to expect in life! With this concept in mind, walking in victory just became much easier. So I encourage whoever may read this to start spending time in the word, seek His face daily, and fall in love with the Father – and of course – Stay in Love!!!

Stay in Love

Stay in love. This has become my motto for life, my passion. I have learned from experience that when I “love” something – it drives me. I am an emotional being and love the feeling of loving something. The important thing to remember is what exactly love is. The Bible clearly defines what love is in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (amplified version):

                4. Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

                5. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on it’s own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

                6. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

                7. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

                8. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].

After reading the details of this passage – I realized how little I knew about love!!! For years, my perception of love is what I could do for someone. God tells us here that love is so much more than that! I am not perfect by far; but, I strive daily to be the best I can be in Christ! I have so much learning to do and so many things to adjust in my life. One thing I know for sure is that I need love to do it – not just any kind of love – God’s love to me, through me, and towards Him! I pray that He teaches me what His love is and how to receive and recognize it.

The title of this blog is “Stay in Love”. I picked this title because it is what I am choosing to live by. When you are in love with something, it is where your passion is birthed; nothing and no one can come up against you in your own mind when you love something! I often look back at missed opportunities that I have come across and realize that if I would have stayed in love with the Father – I may not have missed it. I challenge all who may read this to stay in love with God – place Him first – and everything else will fall in place. Look at love from God’s perspective and display it in your own life. We must first learn to love God and accept His love in order to love others with a God-style love. The human race is thirsty for God. They all have a void to be filled and searching for something to fill it with – all searching and not realizing that what they need has been here the whole time: Interceding for us, calling us, and longing for us! Ephesians 1:4-5 tells us that “just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will”. God picked us long before the earth was even in existence! How awesome is that??? It is our job to let others know about God and His love for us! Once they have truly experienced the love of God – lives are changed and people are never the same again. May I learn to grown in the Love of the Lord daily so that He may use me to show His love to others! Remember this: people may not remember any circumstances or things that happen, but they will remember the love that was or was not shown to them!

This blog is dedicated to my sweet Jesus, my family, friends, the broken, and brothers & sisters in Christ. I may not post every day – but I will post as led and hope to grow with it – and possibly help someone else along the way!

XOXO

Clare