Ramblings to the Father

The following is just my heart speaking to God. No time available to blog for a couple of weeks - so this is just a brief interlude.... of me loving on my God... If you are reading it, agree with me for it.

Lord, where do I begin. How do I explain my heart to the One who created it? How can I know that I am being honest and true to Him and to myself? Lord, my one desire is to know You more. If I say that is my one desire, why is it so hard for me to completely surrender to You? I long to be able to turn to complete abandonment for the sake of pleasing you. Inside, I have absolutely no desire to do anything other than sit at Your feet. I feel as if inside – I don’t care about anything. Although my flesh may not “feel” like seeking You 100% of the time – my heart screams for more of You. If I know how my life would take so many desirable turns at my surrender, why do I tend to opt for the other route? I am totally in love with You and have truly encountered Your love – I just want to share that with others. I want them to know this love. They criticize me, call me crazy, call me lame, say I’m brainwashed or I am taking it to the extreme. This EXTREME love can’t be mistaken – it can’t be took for granted – it can’t be left undiscovered. I have discovered this life of passion, power, persistence, favor, love, and humbleness. It exceeds my every expectation. But Father, do I represent it correctly? Am I showing Your love justice? Do people look at me and see You? If not, I am wasting Your time. Lord, show me Your ways – show me Your glory. Make me a light unto this world. Use me to show others that hope is alive and it is found in Your son, Jesus Christ.

BREAK MY HEART

There has been so much going on lately I am not sure where to start. Life is getting better and better by the day. God is teaching me so much about myself and my purpose to carry out his will. One thing that He is teaching me is how to call on Him. I am learning about pressing in and finding my “secret place” again. He gives me a desire to seek His face daily. At times all I want to do is lay on my face in His prescence and spend quality time with my Jesus. Let me be the first to tell you that it takes time, discipline, and patience! Your flesh is not always going to feel like it, but if you press on, it is so rewarding!

What is the secret place?  Psalm 91:1 tells us that whoever dwells in the secret place shall abide in the shadow of the almighty. I can’t help but stop and think about that. What happens in the almighty’s shadows? What can harm you there? It is amazing to think about how my God protects me! Your secret place is where ever you go to spend that time with God. It is important to spend time with God because He directs our path. How can you expect to hear from God if you don’t spend any time with Him? You have to draw near to Him so that you can learn to recognize His voice. One of my heart’s biggest desires is to become more sensitive to His spirit. I want God to break my heart with the things that breaks His.

Why do I ask that God break my heart? I grew up in a church that was on fire for God; however, somewhere along the way a spirit of condemnation set in on my life. Recently, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that in the past I made my decisions for the wrong reasons. I did not watch particular movies or listen to certain music because I thought “not” doing these things will keep me out of hell. I had no concept of God’s love for me or of His grace and mercy. From an information aspect, I knew God loved me – but I did not yet have a revelation of His love towards me. The more time I spend in the secret place, the more He is revealing His love to me. My heart desires to worship and to grow in love for my God. If I make a decision to lay aside my flesh or sacrifice something – I want it to be because of my love for Him. I want to make my decisions based on how it makes God feel. Jesus could have jumped off that cross at any time when the heat was on and ended all of it – every knee would have bowed to Him – BUT HE STAYED! He went through everything with us on His mind. No doubt in my mind as he was going through all the torment, humiliation, and pain of the cross that He looked 2,000 years into the future and saw my face – and your face – and your children’s faces – and pressed on through it all for us. Why would I not devote my entire life to Him for that? Tell me one person living or dead on this earth that would do that!!! So Yes, Break my heart with the things that break Yours God – Make me a living sacrifice  for You!

I have to keep in mind that my life may be the only Bible people read. I never want to live out of character to what I am supposed to represent as a Christian. I want to walk in love. I want people to see His love through me. So many people  think that Christianity is a bunch of “don’t do this or Don’t do that”. I am here to tell you it is not!!!! God gives us direction to guide us in the right direction. He created the Universe – do you not think that he can handle us? If He tells you ‘Don’t get involved in that relationship’ it is not to be mean – but to protect our hearts from what will happen. He has a plan mapped for us and that plan remains!

Who thought life could be so worry-free. Listening to the one who made life and following His instruction is the difference. 
NP: WHERE YOU GO BY JESUS CULTURE

Where you go I go
What you say I say
What you pray I pray
(repeat 2x)


Jesus only did, What he saw you do
He would only say, What he heard you speak
He would only move, When he felt you lead
Following your heart, Following your spirit


How could I expect to walk without you
When every move that Jesus made was in surrender
I would not begin to live without you
For you alone are worthy you are always good


You are always good
You are always good
Always good
Always good


(Bridge)
Though the world seems to forget
We will not forget
Who you are and what you've done for us


You are my God
(repeat 5x)