WHO ARE YOU???

I was watching the news this morning and a news clip came on that said “We tend to pick partners that make us feel better about ourselves and we disregard their negative traits”.

I began to think about this in the context of my past relationships. Each and every person I had dated did this. They made me feel better about me – however – I did not have the best experience with picking people. I think a big reason I did not pick more appropriately was because I did not know who I was. I saw myself as worthless, rejected, and not good enough. The people that I picked made me feel as if I was worth something. I excused and justified everything they did. I lowered standards that were in my heart little by little and over time I became calloused to who I really was inside. I placed my passion and calling down time and time again just for the opportunity to feel loved when all along I had no idea what love really looked like. It is easy to look at lower standards as permissible when your perception of who you are created to be is clouded by the lies of the enemy. Despite my efforts and unconditional love to people, in the end I was still broken. The love was never reciprocated the way I deserved. I was lied to. I was cheated on. After each relationship I still felt like I was “NOT GOOD ENOUGH”. If I do this, then maybe he will love me. If I act this way, he will eventually see that I am a good woman and be with just me. Every time I tried to justify, I would fall deeper and deeper into the pit of false identity.

Almost a year ago, I cut dating off completely. I knew that a major restoration needed to take place. I prayed that the Lord restore me to who He created me to be. I asked that He show me what He sees when He looks at me. Through this season of singleness, He has done exactly that. Soul ties were broken and I see myself as His daughter. I am loved, I was bought with a price, and I am redeemed. I have never known what it feels like to be a daughter of a father. I didn’t know that I had potential. I didn’t know that I had purpose. I had listened to the lies of the enemy for so long through the lips of people that unknowingly had the same identity issues as I did. Don’t get it twisted… every man I dated was not a lost cause. They were not horrible people by any means. They too, were lost to who God has created them to be and sought me out to make them feel better about themselves – and thus the cycle is repeated in them.

We are all seeking purpose. We all seek acceptance. It is only His acceptance that satisfies and it is only His acceptance that we need. His love truly heals our wounds.

                        He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows]. (Psalm 147:3 Amplified)

That was the design from the enemy from the beginning – to destroy me. If he can get me to believe that I am less than I am, then I am no good to anyone else. This is why identity is so important! Do you know who you are? REALLY????

 

As I have started to discover who I am, I can see a difference in my associations. A guy cannot approach me anymore with his cheesy attempts at a pick up line. The “we can get to know each other” days are over! I want a man who is more in love with Jesus than I am. I want someone who knows my Father and wants to treat me like the daughter that I am. I want a man who will pull me to greatness with him as he follows God. I need someone with a sense of purpose so that when our destinies align we can impact this world for the Kingdom. At the end of the day, we are eternal beings and our purpose is His purpose.

In conclusion, if you find yourself in this cycle or if you find yourself in a place of brokenness… maybe try to step back and ask yourself “WHO AM I”? If anything other than “a daughter/son of the most high God… the head and not the tail… an overcomer… destined for greatness… more than a conqueror… beloved… REDEEMED… forgiven… or anything of that nature” comes to mind… you need to get alone with God and find yourself! He loves you, you are created in His image, you are royalty, and you deserve a life that is lined up with that promise. Use your season of singleness for a purpose.

 

The Process

There is a lesson in everything if you listen to God speak to you.

I was preparing lunch and a friend text me and asked what I was doing. I told them I was shedding carrots for a carrot raisin salad. They responded with "that sounds healthy". I then proceeded to tell them that I try to cook as clean as I can. I thought about how easily it would have been to purchase already shredded carrots but I won't because I enjoy the process of cooking and preparing the fresh food.

That's when the Holy Spirit showed me that there is a process to your calling and/or your next level. The process is where you are cleaned. The process is where you are prepared. The process is where you are hand crafted. If I chose to skip the process and buy "already processed foods", I am putting those toxins in my body. My heart would not be into the meal. Putting the toxins in my body may be satisfying for now but can lead to all kinds of trouble down the road.

Most of the time when we are in a process we don't even realize it until after the fact.... With that being said... If you are waiting on a spouse, waiting on a promotion, waiting on your ministry position, waiting on anything.... Know that you are more than likely in a process. God wants you pure. He wants to clean you, he is hand crafting His masterpiece that is you! You have a purpose of being a benefit to the world. The toxins in you can't help a toxic world. Sit back and enjoy the process and know that the outcome is coming and it will be something clean, pure, healthy, and amazing! Only He knows when you are ready because He can see the big picture and the outcome!

My kids always ask me "when will the food be ready?". My response is "when I'm done". I know the whole recipe. I know what the presentation looks like. I know what needs to be done to pull the dinner together. If I feed them before everything is finished, it won't look right, taste right, or have the same nutritional value because something was left out. That's the same way with God. Trust Him and trust the process!